A dreaded sunny day
As a child, I aspired to grow up and be a princess or a mermaid. Unfortunately, it's not very easy to get your foot in the door for either of these career options.
I didn't finish my last two years of high school. I started college full time only a month after I turned 16 with only the vaguest idea about what I wanted to do when I "grew up." At that time I wanted to be a mathematician- as math to me was the most universal of languages. I craved the order, logic and intrigue of working out complex mathematical formulas. But then, I learned there was chaos even within the safe confines of a world of numbers. O.k. that and I missed over three straight weeks of advanced calculus and was never able to catch up.
As an alternative - I wanted to be an actress. I had been in a number of small productions and enjoyed nothing more than being on stage. I have a 'photographic memory' (unfortunately rarely for things that are important) and was able to memorize lines almost immediately.
I went to a public university, but to a special 'highschool' subset of the school which recruited roughly 200 students a year from the state (100 male, 100 female). For obvious liability reasons (400 kids aged 13-17 living in a dorm full time on a college campus), we were extremely restricted from normal college life, but we attended regular university classes (with the exception of math which was a faster paced class for us). We were allowed home only one weekend a month - and it was incredibly stressful and grueling.
I aced honors bio and the bio and chem labs. I did exceptionally well in composition and literature. But god did I suck at honors chem. I just didn't get it. I just couldn't understand things on a molecular level. My mind just didn't work that way.
So goodbye dreams of becoming a doctor. I didn't fit in there. I transferred schools after a year, essentially dropping out of high school. I had 34 college credits and a decent g.p.a. but I didn't have a high school diploma. I was dating someone a year ahead of me in the program who transferred to a small school about an hour and a half from my parent's house that I had never heard of. They had a summer program which allowed me to start school without a diploma.
When I started there, I was just turning 17, and had no idea what I wanted to do. I literally picked up the course catalogue and flipped through it and randomly stuck my finger in it. Whatever I 'landed' on is what I picked. Business management - o.k. that's what I'll do.
I was there only from June '96 until I graduated in Aug. '98. And even then, I took summer class in '97 in San Antonio. I finished all my graduation requirements before my 19th birthday. It seems like I was there so much longer than I was though...
So, I had a college degree, but no one would bother giving me interviews because I was so young. I enrolled in graduate school - simply because I had nothing else to really do.
I remember on graduation day everyone was going out to a bar to celebrate. I still wasn't old enough to drink. I had a masters degree and couldn't even buy champagne.
I moved to Florida two months later for law school, because I got a full scholarship and to be honest I still didn't have a job. Three more years of school seemed like a good idea.
Fast forward now to about four years later. Most of the time I like what I do. Most of the time I find it interesting. I'm in a funk right now, but I think that's more for personal rather than professional unhappiness.
Part of me is still waiting for direction. Part of me still doesn't know what I want to do when I grow up.
Is Princess still a valid option? If so, I'd like to request a transfer to a kingdom closer to my family please.
---------------------
[And for the record (no pun intended), yes, I realize the inherent contradiction in this title].
I didn't finish my last two years of high school. I started college full time only a month after I turned 16 with only the vaguest idea about what I wanted to do when I "grew up." At that time I wanted to be a mathematician- as math to me was the most universal of languages. I craved the order, logic and intrigue of working out complex mathematical formulas. But then, I learned there was chaos even within the safe confines of a world of numbers. O.k. that and I missed over three straight weeks of advanced calculus and was never able to catch up.
As an alternative - I wanted to be an actress. I had been in a number of small productions and enjoyed nothing more than being on stage. I have a 'photographic memory' (unfortunately rarely for things that are important) and was able to memorize lines almost immediately.
I went to a public university, but to a special 'highschool' subset of the school which recruited roughly 200 students a year from the state (100 male, 100 female). For obvious liability reasons (400 kids aged 13-17 living in a dorm full time on a college campus), we were extremely restricted from normal college life, but we attended regular university classes (with the exception of math which was a faster paced class for us). We were allowed home only one weekend a month - and it was incredibly stressful and grueling.
I aced honors bio and the bio and chem labs. I did exceptionally well in composition and literature. But god did I suck at honors chem. I just didn't get it. I just couldn't understand things on a molecular level. My mind just didn't work that way.
So goodbye dreams of becoming a doctor. I didn't fit in there. I transferred schools after a year, essentially dropping out of high school. I had 34 college credits and a decent g.p.a. but I didn't have a high school diploma. I was dating someone a year ahead of me in the program who transferred to a small school about an hour and a half from my parent's house that I had never heard of. They had a summer program which allowed me to start school without a diploma.
When I started there, I was just turning 17, and had no idea what I wanted to do. I literally picked up the course catalogue and flipped through it and randomly stuck my finger in it. Whatever I 'landed' on is what I picked. Business management - o.k. that's what I'll do.
I was there only from June '96 until I graduated in Aug. '98. And even then, I took summer class in '97 in San Antonio. I finished all my graduation requirements before my 19th birthday. It seems like I was there so much longer than I was though...
So, I had a college degree, but no one would bother giving me interviews because I was so young. I enrolled in graduate school - simply because I had nothing else to really do.
I remember on graduation day everyone was going out to a bar to celebrate. I still wasn't old enough to drink. I had a masters degree and couldn't even buy champagne.
I moved to Florida two months later for law school, because I got a full scholarship and to be honest I still didn't have a job. Three more years of school seemed like a good idea.
Fast forward now to about four years later. Most of the time I like what I do. Most of the time I find it interesting. I'm in a funk right now, but I think that's more for personal rather than professional unhappiness.
Part of me is still waiting for direction. Part of me still doesn't know what I want to do when I grow up.
Is Princess still a valid option? If so, I'd like to request a transfer to a kingdom closer to my family please.
---------------------
[And for the record (no pun intended), yes, I realize the inherent contradiction in this title].
posted by April at 12:56 PM
2 Comments:
You wrote "[And for the record (no pun intended), yes, I realize the inherent contradiction in this title]."
Ugh - being a lawyer has completely zapped your ability to write even a basically funny joke.
You need some Great Divide, Pat Green and a lot of Zeigenbock =)
LONG LIVE STUPIDVILLE!!!!!!!!!!
Do they have a mermaid/merman school? If they had had anything like that when I was a kid, I would surely have transfered into that program. Of course, then the Navy would soon have you looking for mines, like dolphins. :-(
Post a Comment
<< Home