The drunk girl

Sitting three rows in front of me today was the drunkest, most obnoxious, loudest person I've ever had to tolerate in a sporting event. She was perhaps 20 - maybe a few years older, but I doubt it.

She spent the entire game screaming at the top of her lungs and shaking her large - but not really attractive - chest at those of us unlucky enough to be sitting behind her (i.e. in the opposite direction from the field). She was so wasted that she spilled her entire beer not once, not twice, or even three times - but FOUR times on the fans sitting around her. She became belligerent, and wouldn't sit down and just generally was a complete pain in the ass.

I'm a very laid back person. It takes a lot to get under my skin.

So it was a bit surprising when I went up to the guy she was with and said that if he was going to bring her back, he was going to have to bring a muzzle for her.

And then I yelled at her to sit her drunk ass down, and I swear - she turned around and urinated on herself. And then she kept dancing.

I wish I was making this up. But trust me, I will never ever be drunk again. Seeing her make an ass of herself like that basically completely eliminated the possibility of that ever happening.