claustrophobia

I'm very claustrophobic. As a predominantly left-brained person, it irritates me that I can't find a rational reason for the paralyzing panic that sets in when I feel 'boxed in.' If someone pins me down where I can't move a full fledged panic attack ensues.

I work almost thirty stories up in my building, and while I'm in much better shape than I've been in for a long time - walking up all those stairs with my bulging briefcase and purse and in four inch heels really isn't what I think of as a good time. I've done it before, and I couldn't walk for about three days. Funny, because the stairstepper at the gym doesn't affect me that way, but then again, I'm usually not in heels and carrying all the extra crap I tote to and from the office.

The elevators in my building are notorious for randomly dropping a floor, stopping in between floors, etc. The banks of elevators that I use don't open before floor 21 or so, so if you're stuck below that floor - well basically you're just stuck until someone can retrieve you. Today on the way up to the office, the elevator I was on started slowing down and then stopped somewhere before 21.

Then it suddenly picked up speed, halted abruptly and quickly fell about four stories and then just stopped. Pushing all of the buttons in the elevator I could feel my blood pressure rising. I just wanted off the particular car and the doors would not open. It felt a lot like the "Cliffhanger" at Six Flags - except without the view. [I wonder if that ride's still open? In middle school thanks to a season pass, we used to go almost every weekend - putting nickles on our knees to try to get them to hover during the free fall]

Needless to say, even without coffee this morning, I am wide awake now. I will be taking the stairs down though I think.